


Hidden box

by Swordsandthings



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Non binary Dustin Henderson, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-08 14:40:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19871290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swordsandthings/pseuds/Swordsandthings
Summary: As Dustin grows they become aware of many different feelings they have been ignoring for a while.





	Hidden box

**Author's Note:**

> During the 80's terms like non binary and cis didn't exist but I'm non binary and I wanted to write non binary Dustin so here we are. I  
> 've also been feeling kinda weird n sad lately so sorry if this is messy, perhaps one day I will fix all this. The only reason why im posting this is because im tie of seeing it on my drafts and knowing it's not perfect. Maybe if I post it out here I'll have more motivation to fix it.  
> Sorry for all the grammatical mistakes and the odd pacing this has

"Do you think it's weird for a boy to want to wear a dress... Or I don't know a skirt, for example." Dustin asked Steve bluntly.

"Dude, who hasn't been curious of wearing a skirt." Steve replied with a short laugh. But after seeing his friend's serious face it died quickly. "Is this... About something else?"

"Dunno."

They stayed quiet for a while, letting the awkward silence fill the space between them. When they spoke again it was about a completely different topic.

* * *

A couple of days after that encounter Dustin was alone at home. They were in front of their mother's wardrobe trying to find something to wear. It was probably just a stupid idea—wanting to wear a skirt. They would try on a dress and that odd feeling would go away, they were sure of that.

All of the skirts their mother had wouldn't fit them right, they were too wide on their waist and ended falling to the floor. They felt as if they should just let this go.

But they found a yellow dress with white polka dots as they were about to give up. It still didn't fit right but at least they could walk to a mirror and see themselves.

It didn't feel right and it didn't feel wrong. It felt ok. It felt comfortable. They definitely wouldn't mind wearing a dress. But they were a boy, they shouldn't even be trying on a girl's piece of clothing.

They swayed in front of the mirror for a couple of seconds. But then they heard the front door being opened and closed

Dustin scrambled to get back on their original clothes.

"Hey sweetheart, momie is home!" He heard footsteps coming towards their direction. She usually would just pass through her own bedroom to theirs but unfortunately she saw them standing, one leg still inside the dress and the rest of their bodie trying to escape.

She gave a short laugh.

"What is this for?"

"I-was just seeing if it was comfortable." His mother laughed one more time.

"Is this what young boys have been thinking about lately?" She sat down on her bed while her child kept getting dressed. "This isn't... Because your father isn't present is it? If...you feel like you need a father figure you can always talk to one of your teachers or-"

"No mom. It's.. none of that. I was just really trying it for fun."

"Just... You know that I will always love you. No matter what."

"Yeah I know." They said with a groan.

They didn't talk about it during dinner. And definitely not during TV time. But when Dustin went back to their bedroom they found a skirt on top of their bed. It looked like it had been something from when their mother had been a teen.

Dustin hid it on a box inside his wardrobe with a smile on their face.

* * *

They weren't sure if this was just the want to wear a female piece of clothing. It was too late for Dustin to be awake, yet they couldn't fall asleep.

They were thinking about several feelings they had been having. The discomfort when someone referred to them as male. The butterflies they had gotten on their belly when they had tried the skirt on. The feeling of ' _this is right'_ whenever they shaved the small amount of body hair they had on their face.

Dustin could stay the rest of the night remembering all the feels that flashed red on their mind. They knew this wasn't totally normal. They had done some research at the library the other day and they had found some books talking about body dysphoria and transsexuality. But theytcouldn't be transexual right? They couldn't see themselves as a woman, nor as a man. It was confusing especially because they had no answers. Once again they felt that they should just let this go.

Dustin tried their best to forget that feeling. Tomorrow they would visit the library one more time, maybe send a letter to Will too.

* * *

All the previous incidents hadn't been forgotten by Dustin. Steve hadn't forgotten their questions either so he brought it up again. That day they were hanging out with Robin after watching a movie.

"You know you can talk to me about anything that you want, right?" Steve said out of the boue.

"I know."

"But you might wanna talk with me. We all know Steve ain't that good with advices." Robin joined in the conversation with a knowing smile.

"Excuse me! All the advices I give are super good." They started to bicker, which gave Dustin some time to gather up courage.

"I never quite felt that I belonged in the box that says men. But I never felt like I belonged on the woman box either. So... I did some searching. And I think I'm non-binary."

Dustin explained everything to their friends and told them which pronouns they preferred. Steve and Robin only used the they and them pronouns when the three of them were alone. When they were near other people they only used their name to refer to them.

* * *

"Sorry Dust, gotta leave soon so games over," Lucas said and started to clean up the board. "Gonna play basketball with the others."

Dustin felt a small feeling of sadness. If they could they would spend all the time in the world with Lucas.

"I know I left my socks around here." Lucas started rummaging around a corner of his bedroom that had a smile pile of discarded clothes. He ended up getting one of his old bandanas.

Lucas smiled upon seeing it.

"Remember when I used this?" He asked, waving the piece of cloth. "Should probably give it away." Lucas threw it to his desk chair.

Dustin felt more sadness invide them. Things were changing, soon they would all be going to college and away from each other. Hell they already acted as if they were away from each other.

When Lucas was about to kick Dustin out, they picked the old bandana discretely. And like the skirt they had received before, it was discarted into the cardboard box on his closet.

* * *

It was a sufucating afternoon. The kind where your skin started gluing to every surface you sat on, for too long.

Dustin was currently glued to Luca's couch. Erica had left the house to visit the pool with her friends and they probably should have done the same.

"I was really sure we had a tiny pool storaged away." Lucas said as he sat down on the couch with a _huff_.

"Can't we just fill your bathtub with water and ice?"

"We would probably make a mess of the bathroom and my parents would flip."

Dustin huffed, mimicking his friend unconsciously. They stayed in silence for a while. The old episodes of Looney tunes filling the air.

"Don't you know how to shave?" Lucas asked and when Dustin looked at him, they saw he was smiling and that he probably had been staring at him for a while by now, to notice his body hair.

"My dad never got around to teaching me. And I guess I just... Do it."

"God let me teach you," Lucas got up. "Suzie might not have been bothered by your improper shaving but other girls might care."

"Well then show me you ways master!" Dustin said as he started walking to the bathroom. Right after the words had left Dustin's mouth he felt embarrassed.

Ever since Lucas had started to hang out with 'cooler' people Dustin had felt as if they were huge nerds. Steve, Mike and Robin still talked to them which was great, but Lucas had always been their number one.

"I'll give you a new razor," Lucas said as he opened a cabinet. "First thing you'll want to do is to clean your skin and then apply the shaving cream." He got a bottle of shaving cream and started applying it to Dustin's face.

Dustin saw how close they were and couldn't stop their heart from beating faster.

"Then you want to shave," Lucas shrugged. "There's not much to it, you just want to not make too much pressure and to clean your razor whenever it gets too filled up with cream and hair." Lucas put the razor under cold tap water.

Dustin saw Lucas eyes observe their face and suddenly they could only feel everything that was wrong with themselves.

"If you decided to grow a beard I think it'd look good."

"Not really my thing. But you mustache looks good." Dustin tried not to smile as they looked at their friend's upper lip. They couldn't stop themselves from imagining how soft those lips could be.

* * *

During the night, once again, Dustin couldn't sleep. They kept thinking of Luca's lips and how good it would be to kiss him.

They felt as if they had been becoming closer, just like they had been before.

Max and Jane were too busy with dating each other, thought Max and Lucas met up once in a while to skate and talk.

Will had started dating a guy he had met at a comic book store. He sent a lot of letter to Dustin and his other friends. Dustin didn't know about the other but they answered each one of the letter with as much excitement as the one that had sent them had been feeling when writing.

So it came as no surprise when Dustin sat down at their desk to write a letter to their friend. Communication by radio would be the best option but it was too late for that.

Dustin wrote about all their doubts, their crush on Lucas—that had been a previous topic on their letters.

* * *

_'Just tell him how you feel_ ', Will had replied. And Dustin couldn't help but cringe at that. Will had said so many times now. But still, Dustin was sure that was going to only help to embarrass himself in front of his crush.

They were startled by a knocking on their window. Lucas was outside with a big smile. He opened the window because it was almost always open. Lucas was the only one that knew about that.

"What's that face for?"

"What are you here for?" Dustin said defensively.

"Do you still have that weed Steve gave you? Or the one you took from Mike?"

"Maybe." Dustin mumbled as they hid the letter inside their desk drawer. "Why do you need it?"

"There's going to be a party tonight."

"So? You could get some there."

"Yeah but I wanna smoke it before. So Im not as anxious when I'm there."

"You can't go!" He was definitely going to tell a girl his feelings and Dustin knew what they were doing was foolish. If Lucas did like that girl there was nothing they could do to stop Lucas from feeling like that.

"Why the fuck can't I? You're going too!"

"Right... then do you promise that you will stay with me all the time."

"That's what I had already planned." Lucas cheeks got a little tinted with a different shade. He was blushing.

Dustin felt as if they were only a liability. Stopping their friend from living his life was a selfish thing to do.

"Look, I'm sorry if I bother you like this—" Lucas started saying.

"But you don't!"

"Let me finish. I think I do that. No, I know I do that because I like you."

"For real? Or is this like a joke?"

"yeah asshole" and Lucas lunged to them and kissed them.

"Yeah it is a joke or yeah it is for real?" Dustin joked. Lucas rolled his eyes and before he could beat anything again Dustin kept talking, "Guess we don't need to go to that stupid party then."

Dustin spent some time explaining to Lucas that they were non binary and which pronouns they preferred.

They spent the rest of the day on Dustin's house, they watched a bunch of movies and cuddled when it was time for them to sleep. Dustin spent some time explaining to Lucas that they were non binary and which pronouns they preferred. The next morning they both had to pinch each other to make sure it wasn't a dream.

* * *

"They most be coming soon," Lucas said as he rearranged the living room coffee table. He always felt the need to have everything perfect when someone else was coming over. "Where did we put the candles?" He asked to his partner

"On the wooden cabinet" Dustin shouted from the kitchen.

Lucas opened the cabinet but saw no candles. They were probably inside one of the cartoon boxes. The first he opened was filled with old Polaroids from when they had been dating. There was also a skirt on there and Lucas bandana.

"I always wondered where this was" Lucas said as he picked up his bandana.

He then took out the box out of the closet. He called Dustin to join him on the living room. They both observed all the items. Smiling from the past memories. And when the bell rang they kissed each other before opening the door and greeting their friends.


End file.
